In what order should I watch Monogatari anime?

August 20, 2017: This post is currently up-to-date.
Please let me know if you find mistakes or inaccuracies.

op1206_bakemonogatari

I took it upon myself to settle the simple question posed in the title of this post: “In what order should I watch Monogatari anime?” Just to be sure, by Monogatari anime I mean the several series of various lengths adapted from Nisio Isin’s (a palindrome and a pen name) light novels by studio SHAFT under the direction of Akiyuki Shinbō. For those unable to bear the suspense, my short answer is “In the order in which either the anime or the novels came out or chronologically.” For a longer and more detailed rebuttal read on. Continue reading